hello, i'm onision and this is 10 things i hate about halloween. thing number one the tacky, ugly costumes that have no effort put into them. trick or treat! um, what are you supposed to be?
Box Tops For Education Collection Sheets, i'm obviously a ghost! you look like an expired condom. oh my gosh, you are so rude! now that is a costume, freak show!
what're you gonna do, shoot up a school? just give me the candy- loser! thing number two people who are cheap with candy. *knock knock knock* oh my god, what are you dressed as? oh check it out! i'm a superman down syndrome meme! *unintelligible retarded mumbling* superman!
that's not even remotely funny. i know it's not funny, but that's why it's funny. haha! whatever. here is your candy. that wasn't even worth me walking up the steps– i hate white people! *crying* thing number three people who only use halloween as an excuse to take their clothes off. vicky, what are you supposed to be?
like, duh, i'm a prostitute. what? i mean i'm a wolf. ...who has sex with other wolves for money. thing number four the clowns. nope! no. thing number five
people who are too old to trick or treat but do it anyway. what do you call that costume? demon who's sexually attracted to little boys? no! i'm social repose, man. more like socially retarded. what are you, in your twenties? just admit it man, you love me. *makes weird noise* o-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo yeah that's real interesting. so tell me, now dead body, does that feel like love?
*phone ringtone* i'm a banana, i'm a banana yeah, hello? hi dale, did you just shoot someone dressed up as a youtuber in the head? yeah. i stone cold murdered him. why? dale, that's not okay. people are gonna think you actually want that youtuber to die. uhh.. i mean, you know dale, i need you to bring that character back to life so you don't make us all look like psychopaths. fine, i don't actually want him to be dead in real life.
okay. get up, moron. *gasps and breathes heavily* man, what happened? huh! *sigh* get off my property. okay, but you love me, alright! go ahead and touch your forehead to find out. okay. eeuugh! thing number six foreign and sometimes dangerous candy.
chibi, do you wanna try some candy some foreign guy gave me? what? duh, yeah! whoops! oops oops... i uh, i dropped it, but here you go. this tastes funny! yeah! it's like a chalky flavor, right? thing number seven people who hand out things other than candy. *knocking*
trick or treat that's toothpaste! i'm gonna burn it. i'm gonna burn it all. thing number eight how most people will buy a costume for one night in the year and then never use it again. hey, honey, you remember when we were batman and robin for halloween last year? yeah? well feast your eyes on this baby!
why are you wearing your ghetto halloween costume? uh, i wanted to have sex with you wearing this maybe? ew. no. great! i can't have cosplay sex with you, i can't fap to hentai. being married to you is awesome! thing number nine how leftover halloween candy can sometimes be super tempting to adults with a low metabolism. ooh, whats this? we have candy we didn't hand out last night? *giggles*
i mean, one wouldn't hurt, i'm sure.. mmmm. this is gonna be so good. hm?! what the hell! *whines* thing number ten bad weather on the night that you or your kids are supposed to trick or treat. i love trick or treating! it's so fu– o-ni-si-on. do do do do do do
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